About 7 years ago I had an institute teacher tell me at the end of class, how I was always happy and that on my absolute worst day I would probably be as happy as he was on his absolute best day. At the time, I didn't think much of it, just thanked him and left the classroom. That thought almost haunted me for a long time after Liam was born and I went through postpartum depression. Because that was my absolute worst time, and I remember thinking to myself: there is no way this could be someones happy time.
Fast forward three years and I am in costume going to cast call and Dennis Ferrin who is directing Addams Family sees me and I say hi, and he tells the person he's talking to, "She's always so cheerful". It hit me so hard, because I hadn't heard that for a long time. It made my day! Later, I was talking to Jon about it and I told him that it really felt as though I was truly me again. Being on stage is such a big part of my life and I love directing and watching, but nothing beats the feeling of actually being on stage and performing and bringing a story to life. I am so glad that I auditioned and that I have had this opportunity to be on stage again. I also feel as though it's made me a better director, because there are just sometimes that you lose sight of how it feels to be on the receiving end of notes and how it feels to be an actor. I'm so excited to start up at the schools again.
Also on that note, I am music directing at NDJH again! I got a call last week and we are going to be doing Once on This Island!!! I am so excited! It's going to be a really good year!! We are starting auditions at SJH on Wednesday and we have kids signed up til 4:45! I'm so excited to see the program growing!
There are so many thoughts going through my head right now, I can't really keep them straight! I have met fantastic people through this show. I am so grateful for this opportunity! And it's been wonderful, because I'm not the one doing all of the work to keep the friendship going, it really is a two way thing, and I am realising more and more that if people want to keep in contact with you, they will. It's not my job to keep fighting for something that I'm the only one fighting for. There comes a time when I have to be done. And I hit that moment two weeks ago, and it was very freeing. Is it sad? Absolutely. Does it infuriate me sometimes? Yes. But I've become more apathetic toward it as of late. I can't keep fighting for someone who doesn't view me as an important person.
Well, those have been my thoughts for this morning. I'll blog later about the updates with the family. With possible pictures!