I am truly grateful for so many things in my life. As I look back on this past year I realise that I was not mentally well last Thanksgiving. I had been hiding in my shell of Postpartum Depression and hadn't wanted to admit that I really was struggling as I battled my own personal demons. I remember being unhappy with so many things going on in my life, but it was only fueled by my unhappiness with the fact that I knew that I was not ok. So many emotions start to stir while I am writing this, but the most prominent emotion is overwhelming gratitude. Gratitude for my Heavenly Father, my husband, my mother and so many others that really helped me along the path to becoming better. It makes me sad to think that I went so long without admitting I had a problem.
This year is so much different! Which makes me so incredibly happy! I feel so blessed to have overcome what has been my biggest trial in my life. There are days when I do still feel somewhat like I used to, but it's never to the extent or the degree of where I've been. There are times when someone will say something that pushes me to that edge again, and I feel completely inadequate all over; but the sadness never lasts long and I am able to pick myself up again.
I am grateful for the support that I have had this past year in overcoming the Postpartum Depression. I think, Jon gets annoyed with me sometimes, because I constantly ask him if I'm acting better. But I just want to know, and make sure that I really am better. Because, he's the one who has to live with me so I better make sure that he is happy with me! Jon is my biggest supporter and I am so blessed to have him be my eternal companion. He is such an amazing man, and I appreciate every single little thing that he does. He is doing so incredibly well in school and I could not be any more proud! He is the most wonderful, attentive husband, and he is such a phenomenal father. The light in Liam's eyes when Daddy comes home is the most wonderful sight, and seeing Jon scoop up Liam in his arms makes me fall in love with him all over again.
I am thankful for my parents and for all the support that they give to Jon and I! They never cease to remind Jon how proud they are of him for all that he is doing and working so hard to achieve. I know that because of Jon's and my rocky courtship they were a little wary when we got engaged, but my dad has told me so many times how proud he is of Jon and how glad it makes him to see how much Jon loves me.
I am so thankful to be having a healthy pregnancy! I am grateful that I am experiencing this all over again! I remember how much I loved being pregnant with Liam and even though this pregnancy didn't start out wonderful, now that we are in the downward spin of it and I can feel the kicks, it makes everything a little bit more bearable. I also feel like I'm able to bond now with the baby because I can feel his/her presence rather than just knowing I was pregnant.
Of course, I couldn't leave this little guy out: My Mr. Liam. How this little boy has changed my life for the better. Not a day goes by that I don't marvel at something else that he has learned to do or something funny that he does. He is the most busy, fun, and adorable little boy ever! I am so lucky to be his mom! I don't understand how anyone could not enjoy being a mom, because this is the best job I've ever had! It's hard and it's downright frustrating at times, but it is so rewarding to know that he is my little boy and that he knows that I am his momma! Jon was playing with him the other day and they were playing with an umbrella, well, Jon opened up the umbrella and that scared Liam. What did he do? He came and hid behind my leg! Because he knows that I will protect him! It made my heart melt when it hit me that he knows that he is safe with me.
Well, there is so much more that I have to be grateful for, but this about sums up the most important! I am excited for Thanksgiving tomorrow and excited that I can put up our Christmas tree on Friday! I know that Jon would have an absolute fit if I had put it up any sooner! When we start making actual money and Jon has a big boy job I am going to decorate with the Grinch theme for Christmas! I'm actually really excited!