Exhaustion at its Finest!

Well, I officially became the worst mother in the world on Tuesday! Liam had an older heater in his room, because his room is always cold. Usually, when he wakes up in the morning, I would turn off the heater and then we would go and eat breakfast. I shut the door so that he can't get in there while the heater cools off. After breakfast this day, I went into his room so that I could get his laundry basket so I could wash his clothes. He followed me in and everything happened so fast, but he managed to put his hand on the heater. I grabbed him as fast as I realized what just happened. I looked at his palm, where I thought the burn would be, and it was fine. I was so relieved! Until, I realized that it was not the palm of his hand that had been burnt, but his middle finger knuckle. I took him to the kitchen and ran his hand under water and prayed that it wouldn't be a horrible burn. Jon had gotten up by this point in time and I explained what had happened. Jon looked at his fingers and it didn't look too bad at first. So, I finished running his hand under the water and then patted his hand dry. Later, we were sitting in the living room as Liam was playing happily. He came over to us and I looked at his hand again, and to my horror, not only was his middle finger blistered, but part of his ring finger, the knuckle, and a tiny dot on his pointer finger. I just broke into tears. My baby had such a bad burn, and I felt like it was all my fault because I hadn't realized he'd come into the room with me. Jon went to the store and got an antiseptic/burn spray, and when he got home we sprayed that on Liam's burn. Then we wrapped his fingers in band-aids, and I cried some more. Miraculously, he's not been acting like he's in pain, or has been favouring his hand at all; it really is, as though it's not been affecting him. Small blessings, probably more for my sake than his. Wednesday he managed to break one of the blisters, and even then was still not crying from pain or anything from the burn. It's been almost a week and his burn looks much better, even though it still doesn't look great. Yeah... I've been beating myself up about this all week. We got rid of the heater that had been in his room and got a different heater that my mum had bought me, but was at her house, that is electric and doesn't have the ability to burn my baby.

Then, after Liam's nap on Wednesday, I walked in to quite the terrifying sight. Liam's leg was over his crib side and he was trying to push himself up so he could climb out. Jon and I decided that that was probably a sign that it was time to move him out of his crib into his bed. We took down his crib and moved it into the new baby's room, I vacuumed really quick before we moved his desk to where his crib was. And then, it was time for Liam's bedtime. That first night was rough... Liam was such a good sleeper in his crib, I guess I was hoping that it would be a breeze getting him to sleep in his bed. That first night, I put him in his bed and then left, and he followed me out into the living room. So, I put him back in his bed, and he again, followed me out into the living room. So then I finally stayed in his room with him and scratched his back, and tickled his arm, and caressed his face and played with his hair. It took three hours, but eventually he started dozing off enough that I could leave. But that was short lived, he woke up two and a half hours later, and I had to go back into his room so that I could calm him down again. Each night has gotten progressively easier, but it's still a difficult process. Tonight, I only had to stay with Liam for less than an hour before I left, he fussed for about twenty minutes and then he managed to fall asleep on his own. It amazes me how fast he's growing up! It was a year ago that he crawled for the first time, and now he is a busy 17 month old.

This month has been a bittersweet one, at the beginning of the month I had my doctors appointment with Dr. Hall, which then ended up with me going to the hospital to meet with the perinatal specialist. I was also told at that appointment that Dr. Hall was going to be retiring at the end of the month and that he wanted to see me one last time before he retired. So, I went to my last appointment with him on the 16th; I switched to a new doctor, was given my glucose drink for next time, and Dr. Hall gave me a hug before I left, and I made my next appointment. As soon as I got out into the parking lot, I started tearing up. Dr. Hall has set such a high standard of care and he was the reason why I didn't have to have a C-Section after such a long labor, he was so caring and he is the one I attribute credit to saving Liam's life when he was born, and keeping me calm during the whole process. I love that man and I am truly devastated that he is not going to be my delivery doctor. But, I am excited for him, for the new chapter of his life that he is entering now. Dr. Johnson, the new doctor, that I chose has equally good reviews and I've heard nothing but wonderful things about him; and upon my making my appointment with him with the receptionist told me that he was very good. So I am happy with my decision... even though it means not having Dr. Hall as my delivery doctor. That night, I did have a dream that I went into labor during a showing of Aladdin (remembering that Dr. Hall's granddaughter attends SJH and is in the drama department) and Dr. Hall got to deliver our new baby anyway. But, I highly doubt that'll happen because Aladdin opens weeks after my due date.

I feel like this month has whizzed on by. Christmas is in four days! How fun holidays are with our little one! I know that he is excited to open his presents! He's been eying the presents under the tree for quite some time now. Every day he'll bring me a present and every day we have to put it back under the tree. I am so excited for Christmas Morning and for him to open up his presents!