Within the week of getting my IUD out, my cramping went away entirely, and within the month I felt so much lighter emotionally. Everything changed! My perspective on everything became better, especially on myself. For months, I had dealt with the thoughts and feelings that I was not worth much. I had dealt with the feelings that Liam and Jon's life would be better off without me; and that I was not important to my baby and husband. It was a really hard thing to go through life feeling like that for months on end. At the end of the month that I got my IUD taken out, I went to my doctor and he felt confident in taking me off of my anti-depressants.
The next couple months were still slightly hazy, because my body was recovering from having the anti-depressants in my system as well as phasing out the extra hormones that came from the IUD. But by May, I was feeling so much more like my old self! It was wonderful to not have to worry about whether or not I was going to wake up depressed, or if I was going to have those horrible feelings about myself. There were and are times where there are things that are said that push those horrible thoughts to the forefront of my mind, and I will have a down day. But those are few and far between, and I feel more confidant in talking to Jon about when these times happen and venting to him and allowing him to comfort and help me. This past year has been a crazy learning curve, and as much as I never want to go through postpartum depression again, I am glad that I had to endure the bad. It has made everything so much more sweet and made me realize that I really do have a divine destiny. My role as a mother and wife is of utmost importance and I would not give up this gift for anything.
Looking back on this year, I have learned so much, and I have grown spiritually and temporally.
Update on Liam:
- He has two speeds- asleep and running
- He is starting to make animal sounds- he does monkey, snake, owl and will click his tongue.
- He follows hand gestures pretty well. We do a routine where we will go "clap, clap, clap, UP!" and when we say up we make the touchdown sign. He also is getting good at blowing kisses, and he loves playing peek-a-boo.
- He loves to climb up and down stairs and open doors.
- He loves food. Any and all. Eating is one of his absolute favorite things to do. He loves PB&J sandwiches, tomato soup with toasted cheese sandwiches, ham, turkey, steak, eggs, sausage and basically any food that we are eating he will happily gobble down.
- He has several teeth now- after me fretting about him not having many teeth it was like we went from 0 to 10 almost 13 practically instantaneously.
- He knows how to use utensils- this came as a shock to us, we had gone to dinner to celebrate Jon getting a perfect score on his math test and we gave Liam a spoon and he started stabbing at the bread that we had given him, so we gave him a fork and he started using it! Shocking, but exciting at the same time.
- He knows what the potty is for- I am not pushing potty training, but the other day he was playing and he stopped and squatted and made that infamous face, and I told him that that was what his potty was for. So then the next thing I know he runs into the bathroom and sat on his toilet, diaper and pants still on and did his business. It's so funny to watch him figure things out. We'll see how things progress as far as toilet training. It's definitely a work in progress.
- He loves it when Jon chases him. He will squeal with delight and run down the hallway, then he will turn and chase us.
- He loves his movies, he is on a Mary Poppins and Ice Age kick right now. He has his own tv, and knows what buttons to push to turn on his movie.
- He is quite into dramatics. He is extremely good at being able to throw a tantrum when he doesn't get his way.
- He takes after his dad and is very good at pushing boundaries. Which is very frustrating at times, because even after I have told him no he will continue to do whatever it is that I have just denied until I punish him. Some things he will stop immediately because he knows it is not worth it, but other things... when I put him in time out, he laughs at me.
- He loves Peppa Pig! We watch it on Youtube all the time!
- He loves to play the piano, he will jump up onto the piano bench and pound on the keys. He'll also sing for me too!
- He also LOVES the Christmas tree and the lights and decorations!
- He gets to go into nursery NEXT WEEK!!!! I cannot express just how excited I am for him to go into Nursery and to get little friends and to play with other kids! I honestly cannot believe just how fast time has gone by! My little baby is no longer a baby and he's definitely becoming Jon's and my little man!